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Mr Linguist and Ms Granger

So, it’s the Bank Holiday after the festive period, although New year is coming up soon.

It was so lovely to have Mr Linguist and Ms Granger over for a whole two days. I always worry about having them here due to awkwardness; it’s okay, on the whole, but there are awkward moments. I want something that doesn’t exist. We used to be so close; we saw each other all the time, and we had so much to talk about. But particularly with Mr Linguist, I just don’t know what to say. I don’t think he ever wants to be here; he’d rather be in Cambridge with his mates. Ms Granger seems to enjoy(?) it more, and at least the conversation flows.

I asked Mr Linguist whether Ms Granger actually liked coming here. He acted very awkwardly indeed, and said something along the lines of : ‘You can’t ask something like that after all this time.’ So, my interpretation is that since he didn’t say ‘no,’ that means it’s a yes.

It makes me really sad. I know people grow up and have their own lives and stuff, but it leaves me with a gaping hole. I haven’t grown up. I don’t have a life. If I did, I’d feel the loss less, because I’d have friends and societies and clubs and places to go etc etc. But I don’t.

I do some stuff. I volunteered from 08:30-13:30 at a homeless shelter, but what does that really mean? Once a year giving a little. It’s hypocritical: people are in need all year. Homeless for a life, not just for Christmas. And part of me would like to do something more regularly, but then I have this self-imposed rule that I won’t go out of the house.

I love them, don’t get me wrong, but I wish they loved me more. That’s not fair: of course they love me, and I know that. But they can’t relate to me. We can’t have a proper relationship. Ms Granger had to follow me up to the bathroom

There’s too much to write in one post, and I kind of want to keep each post on a theme, so I guess I’ll stop there.

Mr Linguist, just between me and this blog, I am so so sorry that I have ruined your chance to have a proper relationship with your sister. I never meant to deprive you of that.

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Author:

Just a 25 year-old-English-gal trying to make her way through life, with all its ups and downs. I don't necessarily publish anything massively personal because I worry about triggering people big time, but if anyone has questions or memes they'd like me to do, then I'm up for it!

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