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…books.

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So, most of the time I haven’t being posting snd catching up with all your wonderful blogs is this:

I’m writing a novel. And, yeah, I know that lots of people do it now because of self-publishing and stuff, and maybe it isn’t that a big deal. Well, it is for me. I wrote two short novels (50,000 words each) when I was 14 and 15 respectively. Although I was very proud of them at the time, I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t have been that good!

So, I’m a writer – been keeping it under wraps! Feels so scary to admit it!

That’s why I was asking about triggers – is there anything in books/films about EDs that particularly trigger you. There are no numbers mentioned AT ALL. (Btw, this isn’t my life, it’s fictional, but the kind of story that could be true.) But what else do people find it hard to read about?

This is getting serious, as a professional editor is reading my work soon, I may have an agent and we’re looking for a publisher! I’m writing under a pseudonym, so if you (and me!!) are very lucky there may be a post here about where you can BUY it!

Basically, I want people’s experiences reading about EDs in any way, shape or form. Please, please just drop me a comment – anyone – or repost on your blog if that might get more traffic. I’m desperate to get this right without hurting people.open_book

Although it’s really exciting to be at this stage, I’m also terrified. What if the professional editor (who wasn’t cheap!) just politely tells me that it’s not any good. I have a friend who’s a published author who thinks it good, and two other people have read (one head of a small publishing firm, and the other a psychiatrist). But what if it isn’t ‘right for the market.’ I’ve worked so, so hard on this – there’d blood, sweat and guts all over my computer – and I’d be heartbroken if she says no. But I’d trust her. She really knows what she’s talking about. She used to be head of Random House (one of the biggest young adults and children’s publishing houses in Britain) and is in great demand.

It’s gonna be painful having it ripped apart, but I know that. God, I’m so scared!

So, please let me know if you’ve had much experience with novels that contain characters with EDs. Or films. Positive or negative experiences. Please, it would be such a help, as I do one last edit before sending it off.

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Author:

Just a 25 year-old-English-gal trying to make her way through life, with all its ups and downs. I don't necessarily publish anything massively personal because I worry about triggering people big time, but if anyone has questions or memes they'd like me to do, then I'm up for it!

3 thoughts on “…books.

  1. Ok so I keep reading your posts, and each one makes me think we are more and more alike! I am a writer too. I have been writing since I knew how to, and if you asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up when I was in kindergarten, I would’ve said author.
    I always wrote little fictional short stories (well, they felt long to me at the time), but then when I first went to inpatient treatment, we had to write our life story. As I wrote, everything poured out of me and flowed into an overarching picture of how I got to where I was. It made so much sense! After I had to read it to my group, everyone told me I should write a memoir, so I’ve been working on that (for years by the way) plus some other novels. As soon as I discovered them, I became obsessed with books about EDs and have read pretty much every one I could get my hands on. In the early stages, some were very triggering (which I suppose I liked at the time), and probably did more damage than good. The first few that I read were some of the “classics,” if you will, such as “Wasted,” “The best little girl in the world,” “Diary of an anorexic girl,” “Running on empty,” to name a few. Since then I have read many, many more, and aside from numbers, I think there are several other main triggers:
    -As you probably already know, any talk of types of diets, safe foods, exercise routines, etc, (kind of an extension of the numbers thing)
    -Mystique- many stories romanticize what it’s like to have an ED; the writer makes it sound like a dark, yet glamorous journey, as the character gets thinner and further into her disorder or whatever. It’s like, “oh bummer, these clothes are too big for me now, and I can put my hands all the way around my waist, and I love being hungry and empty,” etc without truly explaining the sacrifices that were required to get there, and giving those sacrifices enough weight (no pun intended) in comparison e.g. Physical ramifications that may not be so obvious and are not appearance based (like weight), like the constant pain a sufferer feels in so many places, the sheer panic and guilt and shame, the absolutely agonizing decisions between whether and what to eat, the all consuming nature of an ED, as it demands literally everything from its victim, and if taken far enough, she will end up handing over everything she has-her hopes, dreams, relationships, activities, her mind, her body, and eventually her life.
    I probably have more ideas, so can let you know if I think of them, but in the mean time, I hope this is helpful (and not too late!)
    *by the way, I think wasted was very triggering in a numbers sense/how-to guide, but it did a great job of exposing the true, unglamorous horrors of what it’s really like to have an ED

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow, thank you so much for your considered reply – definitely not too late! I’ve also wanted to be a writer my entire life; we DO have a lot in common. I wrote two novels in my teens (14 and 15) and a lot of short stories. I’m lucky enough to be part of a writing group and we have self published two anthologies together (just for us, we no one else would want to read a load of teenager’s stuff!)

      I’ve never written life stories in EDUs, and this ISN’T my memoir, but it has a lot of my life in it, sort of inevitably.

      I agree with you about some of the big books you mentioned, particularly ‘Wasted’ and ‘Running on Empty.’ And I also agree that I used to read them FOR triggers. ‘Wasted’ triggered me so much more than anything I’ve read (‘Wintergirls’ was pretty triggering too…) but it’s also so accurate. There has to be a balance, and that’s what I want to achieve.

      So, nothing too difficult, right?

      I have mentioned ‘safe foods’ but it’s something a psychologist brings in that the main character dismisses… I’ll have to think about that. And I need to be less specific about her exercise routine, but I’d realised that already. Problem is, it’s such a key part of an ED, which is way ‘Wasted’ feels so real, but I don’t want my novel (if published) to be one of those books read on purpose to BE triggered.

      As for glamourising EDs, I have this covered! There’s no glamourising. She talks about being ’empty,’ but it’s not clearly not amazing. Once or twice in her head, but then it’s immediately squashed. I’ve been very careful about that.

      It’s the exercise I’m going to need to change, as this character (unlike me, oddly) finds exercise a HUGE part of her illness. (It obviously plays/ed a part for me, but not as much.)

      I like to feel I have covered the all-consuming nature of her ED, the panic, the shame, lost hopes, lost relationships… that’s what a lot of it is about.

      Thank you so much for the help. Your well thought out response was just what I hoped for. I hope some other people can answer me as articulately as you!

      I hope we ‘get to know each other’ more, you generous generous girl.

      Thank you x

      Liked by 1 person

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